Office Party Etiquette: Cinderella Situation

So given the title you may be thinking there will be a magical prince popping out of the woodwork to take you dancing through the night.

My apologies, no.

This little tale is about how to arrive at the Office Holiday Party.

The concept of Fashionably Late . . .

So the party starts at 7p and ends at 10p. In some circles this means you show up at 9p.

no.

More specifically he** no. Your company has either rented the space or your boss, boss’s boss or boss’s boss’s boss’s cousin’s best friend is hosting the party at his home, so when they say the party ends at 10p, they mean 10p.

When you arrive at 9p, you may unintentionally cause the party to kick right back up a notch. You are after all a bad ass. The revelers will be delighted to see you, but the host and hostess will not.

Remember your teacher threatening the boy who was always shouting out in class and not turning in his homework, “This will go on your permanent record,” as though that meant something serious? Yeah, showing up unfashionably late works the same way.

So for the love of your boss, please arrive 15-30 minutes after start time. Anything later gets into rude territory.

What about the other extreme . . . being very, very precisely on time?

Oh how boring!

If the party is at a home, they may not be ready for you. You really don’t want to be the one who arrives first.

So play it safe 15-30 minutes after start time is perfect. No one is uber sloshed yet so you can have a polite conversation about totally mundane topics. AND, you can scoot out of there after 60-90 minutes – after all – you, Miss Hotty Totty, have places to go and parties to kick start.

Is Miss Mentor’s advice consistent? Check out our Office Party Etiquette series from 2 years ago.

Office Party Etiquette: Drinking Like a Fish

Today we continue advising you poor souls still walking the corporate halls on how to nail office party etiquette. Sad, but true, you must get along with your co-workers and you must wear more than a bathrobe to work. I feel for you, I really do….

So . . . you’re known to enjoy a beverage or two from time-to-time. Okay….

You’re known to enjoy a beverage or ten . . .

OUCH!

What you do at your holiday office party is strangely treated as “typical” behavior. And unfortunately for many careers, much of this behavior is somehow caught on film. It used to be that people used cameras. Now everyone and their monkey thinks it’s clever to video . . . everything.

You can’t stop the YouTube monkeys.

The consequence of all that footage is a surprising glut of material. The unintended consequence is that a future employer can google you, which he/she WILL DO, and he/she will find the ONE time you were a total jack-a** at your company’s holiday party. You will be forever labeled as a drunk/idiot/out-of-control wreck, etc.

Don’t believe me? Read the Financial Times Career column, this question comes up all the time from potential employers. It goes something like this:

I googled our best candidate for the new position and found a picture of her in a leather outfit. Everyone in the office saw her photo and they now call her the S&M girl. Now everyone is talking about her. I’m afraid if I do hire her that she won’t be taken seriously. What do you recommend….

No kidding, that was a real one from 2008, maybe 2007. The responses form other employers made it so memorable to me that I share it here. The reality is, that candidate just got the smack down because of a Halloween photo. THAT IS TOTALLY UNFAIR, but that’s the way it goes. Everyone recommended that she not be hired. Even though she was the top candidate prior to the photo discovery.

We are human beings, not logical creatures. If we were based on logic, we wouldn’t watch sports and we wouldn’t buy 99% of the junk that gets sold to us. Men and Women alike.

So, acknowledge that you share this planet with other human beings and all of our glorious frailties. When you are tempted to have another drink at your holiday party . . .

Stop at 2 for the ladies, 3 for the gentlemen. You’re being watched by your bosses and your bosses spouses. Remember, the losers have nothing better to do than to talk about your transgressions later and if one of them is feeling left behind (usually a corporate wifey), watch your back.

See the ridiculous tattoos that your mother warned you against….

Office Party Etiquette Gem from the Past

Put on those party shoes, but leave the drinking liver at home. Remember you’ll be judged not just by your behavior at the party, but by your behavior leaving the party. If you are wobbly, call a friend or CALL A CAB. Seriously. Please. To save your precious tush and your career.

XOXO,
-Miss Mentor

Office Party Etiquette: Holidays

Is your company one of the few holding a Holiday Party this year? Seems like many have cut back drastically, but based on a few questions from readers, I’ll throw this into the mix for those of you celebrating with co-workers this holiday season.

There are two main flavors of the Office Party – during work hours, and after work hours.

During Work Hours:
These Office Parties are meant to be tame. Appropriate attire seems to include cute santa hats on the cute secretaries, ugly sweaters on the not cute secretaries. The accountants will show up with the reindeer parade – don’t make eye contact.

A Director may try to spice things up with sexy red sweaterdress . . . she is single . . . even if she’s married. She probably hasn’t enjoyed her emasculated husband in a decade. Speculation about the intern from last summer…. How is it she manages to find super hot male interns trying to break into the biz each summer? Exactly. Go Cougars.

For you as a climber, stick to the basics. Sure you can do cute tights or put a holiday hat on for the day, but fashioning mistletoe to that hat is verboten.

No – No – No.

Besides, it’s that funky dude in payroll who’d try to kiss you. Do you really want that?

Drinking at daytime holiday party?
Oh . . . tempting, but no. Face it ladies, you are being watched like a hawk. It ain’t fair, but thems the breaks. You want to be taken seriously, work seriously. You won’t win popularity points for this and you won’t be invited to the after hours lush fest . . . but then again, you won’t end up shacked-up with your co-worker. That’s good.

If you want to write your own ticket, stay out of the booze during the day.

After Hours:
Office Party etiquette still applies. No joke. Your party may call for cocktail attire and it may call for “casual.” You get to figure out what that one means.

If it is at your office, be careful. Follow proper booze + copier etiquette. No pushing, no shoving, wait your turn.

Office Party Etiquette . . . What you CAN do with a copy machine.

If it is at an off-site location, even better. When you arrive you can scout exits so you can disappear quickly if necessary. Just a recommendation.

When you arrive be aware of the total space, are there nooks in which you could get trapped with that freaky payroll dude? Avoid.

Do grab a drink, but do stop at 2. Go meet your friends to get your drink on later if you must, but at the holiday party, no-go. Now you’re being watched like a hawk by twice as many eyes.

Think of it this way. When you have a single parent, she can only do so much disciplining. She gets tired, has her own distractions and is generally juggling things. When you have Mom + Step Dad, now they have reserve firepower. And they talk to each other about you and they make decisions for each other about you.

SAME THING APPLIES WITH BOSSES and BOSS SPOUSES.

No joke. If your boss thinks you’re mostly okay, but his wife decides that you’re rude, you’re getting stunted the next promotion go-around. She’ll keep reminding him how rude you are and he’ll start to see what he hadn’t seen before . . . even if it does not exist. The context has changed and now you’re labeled rude.

It is your duty to be unfailingly diplomatic at the office party . . . even with that vendor, despite wanting to stuff him in a trash can for the way he wrecked the project time line….

Another gem from the past:

Office Party Advice

OUTAKES job interview etiquette 1

Miss Mentor How to Create a Budget

The Original MissMentor – Debt Solutions got her started

Behind the scenes with entrepreneurs – April Braswell

It’ finally here! – A one-on-one interview with April Braswell, relationship expert and online dating coach.  In this first part, we’ll hear how she was able to develop herself into the entrepreneurial woman she is today. This will be a 7-parter, so if you enjoy please keep checking back for more.

Also a little side note, this is my first video. So please be kind . Any suggestions to improve the video are welcomed. To begin the video, click on the link below.

Behind the Scenes with Entrepreneurs

Do you need a Personal Financial Advisor?

Maybe you are coming back after a year of success with your plan or perhaps you are further along with your investment portfolio and need assistance in that area. This is the “step” for you. In Wealth Building Tip #5, you can read my recommendations for asset selection and how to interview financial advisors who have your interests at heart.

Building wealth over the long term means hiring experts as necessary. You will pay for expertise. Understand how to maximize your investment IN your investment.

Transforming Debt into Wealth!

Wealth Building Tip #4 is the DEBT STEP. Some folks think this should be #1. I strongly disagree. You MUST understand what money you have available before you can plan for living.

Here’s where my advice diverges from many other advisors. Why? I know you. I understand the difference between your student loans and credit card debt. All debt is NOT created equal….

***CAUTION: for those looking for quick fixes to wipe out credit card debt without paying for it, I am not for you!***

Manage your entire financial picture and to responsibly slay the debt monster. Transform your debt into wealth. It does you NO GOOD to wipe out your CC debt super fast only to have your car break down 2 months later . . . which ends up on what . . . yes, your credit card, again. Lather, rinse, repeat? No thank you.

Most people who dramatically slash their credit card debt end up incurring even more credit card debt later because they did not plan for emergencies. That is why you MUST complete these steps in the order given!

Building wealth takes time, be patient, be diligent. The rewards are well worth it. Control the beast. Transform your debt into wealth!

By now you have a pretty good plan. After a few months of success with WBTs # 1-4, you may be ready to tweak your plan a little bit. The beauty of building wealth is flexibility.

Make it work for you!

So funny I . . .

We’ve all done it….

You’re on a really lame conference call. The other speaker is droning on about synergy when they really mean outside the box, but you don’t care to correct them, because using the correct cliche is so 1984. So you look at your gmail account. The personal one. You see the message from your friend Sam. He’s pointing you to a site that he says is “wicked hilarious.” You think Sam is cool despite using the phrase wicked hilarious – he went to boarding school in Boston, it happens. You forgive him and click the link.

Next thing you know you’re on a site that is actually wickedly hilarious. Or as Sasha would say, f-ing awesome. It’s funny. You like it. Now, stop being a greedy bastard and share it.

Haven’t had your funny bone tickled in a while? Try these to get you started:

http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/

A compilation of Craigslist ads that are remarkably, ridiculously funny . . . usually for all the wrong reasons such as a Tutor offering his services as a TUDOR. Perhaps he’s a descendent of Mary, Queen of Scots. An example,

Need Your HomeWork Done

---

Do you know that your kids are failing a class because they don’t do there homework. Well now you can gett help from us. We do all kinds of home work. We specialize in math, history, and many more subgects
email us for more information

Need something a little more high strung? Project Rant is performance art at it’s best. Real actors performing real customer – blogger rants. If you are sensitive to the f-bomb, you’ll want to skip this one.

http://www.projectrant.com/

Transfat Crackers is a gem.

Feel free to add your gems in the comments. Miss Mentor will review the links before they’re posted so no pharmaceutical funny-bizness.

Remember, you are at work to do great work. If you find yourself returning to diversion sites daily, multiple times a day, you may need professional help. Get back to work!

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